I'm not on here very often anymore What's up with that? My mind is just scattered everywhere Nowadays. I can't contain my thoughts I forgot how to contain my thoughts
It's like my brain cells are bouncing against my skull My brain is almost never at ease I can constantly feel my pulse.
My dreams are so erratic One day I woke up And my heart was beating so fast and hard that it actually hurt My mom says it might be anxiety Anxiety? What am I anxious about? I'm not exactly sure what's wrong But I don't like talking about it I write better than I talk anyway Even right now My muscles are tense They're always tense. Moving on. I'm thinking about Being full-blown vegetarian Just thinking I haven't made any moves yet Well I cut beef & pork out my diet A few years ago. That doesn't count though 'Cause a lot of people do that

My dad says
"your heart has to be set on it
You can't just go through the motions
Of vegetarians
You have to think like them
Act like them
Not just eat like them"

Of course while my dad was saying all this
I was acting all nonchalant and stuff

But really,
He has a point.

My dad made vegetarians seem like
A whole different species
Which what I expect from
An all-American meat-lover.

But I'm still thinkin'.
I'll get back with you
(whoever "you" are)
On my thoughts
Later.


The pic at that top
I just felt like puttin' it there
'Cause I like it
It was Christmas
As you can see

???????

I've been pretty dry lately
As far as creativity goes

But that's A.O.K.
Cause right after my typical droughts
I normally flood.

I'm just waiting for the first few sprinkles, actually.
But I won't force it.
Just let ease on out.

A lot has been happening
At school
At home (I'm moving)
In my personal life
Not much worth telling
No wait.
Actually it is.
But I don't really feel like it.
Thinking about it is tiring,
let alone having to think about a way
To type it out poetically.
And unfortunately
Poetry isn't up my alley at the moment
Eating is.
I haven't eaten anything to day.

Nature calls.
Peace.

Today

I went and saw Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre
At the Fox
It was nice
I saw too many people I knew
Than I prefer
I just don't like seeing certain people
Outside of the place that connects us
Whether it be school
Or work
Or whatever
Especially if I don't like them
'Cause then that'll leave me obligated
To form pointless conversation
Just to be polite.

But anyway
That's not what I wanted
To post about
I wanted to talk about
My experience
Which was nice
Very nice
Inspiring.
Made me wanna work harder.
Ailey always has amazing dancers.

There was this one dancer
That I COULD NOT
Keep my eyes off.

More on that tomorrow.
I have to go to bed now.
Good night


Peace.

Amazement.

The power of movement
Combined with music
Is overwhelmingly amazing.

Recently,
Well,
More like yesterday
Me and two of my good friends
Were having this really intimate
Dance class.
I say "intimate"
'Cause it was just the 3 of us.

We were just warming up
And going across the floor
And getting ready to run through
A piece we had choreographed
Full out.

We started doing various combinations
To random songs....

And then we came across this ONE song
That went PERFECTLY with
Our random combinations.
You know how you come across a song
That's so powerful
That you get chills just listening to it?
Well imagine that feeling multiplied by three
And that's what I felt
When we started dancing to it.

When I began dancing
It didn't take long for the song
To take me over
Completely.
Chills ran through my body
Which gave me the ability
To just move to the powerful
POWERFUL lyrics of the song.
As I continued to dance
The emotion of the song
Built up in my heart
And was expelled through my movement
I was amazed at myself.

This feeling was so powerful
That when I went home
And saw an advertisement on TV
That reminded me of the song
that gave me a revelation
of really why I dance
I began to cry
Actually cry
As I reminisced
On my first emotional encounter
With the combination of an
emotionally moving song
And dance.

I wish I could explain my experience
To the extent where you could feel
What I felt at that moment
But unfortunately
There is no word in the human vocabulary
Or any language
That can send you what I went through

You have to feel it for yourself.

Each and EVERY dancer
Should experience something
Similar to what I did
As a reminder of the of the power
Of movement combined with a song.
Dance combined with lyrics.
However you wanna say it,
If you come across the right combination of the two
It can be somethin' else.

Really.

I can't wait to dance to it again.
To let my body wrap around the
Imaginary notes floating out of the
Speakers.
It is truly....
I don't know.
Can't find the right word.
If it exists.

But enough of my rambling
I've got other things to do
And I'm sure you do to.
So I'll stop writing.
Even though I really,
Really don't want to.
But I must go now.


Peace.

Dang!

Dang...

I haven't blogged in five days
How could I possibly go that long?

Nah,
clearly it is possible
But really, everything is "same 'ole same"
As our old timers would put it
I finally have a job (hopefully)
I'm counting on it pretty heavily

My last job
I quit it cause it was too tiring
And not worth the pay
I made $100 a month
Which is okay for someone my age
If you can even guess my age

I worked at a kiosk in the mall
That sold hella good nuts
It was called "The Nutty Bavarian"
My job was to pass out as many samples
As possible (listen to me trying to make it sound like a
hard task lol)
Anyways, it wasn't that easy
I standing on my feet at constant
5-hour intervals
And quite frankly,
I had to resign because the job
Took up my whole Saturday
And whenever I'd be invited somewhere
My answer would be "Sorry, I have to work"
And I just don't like having
To use those words
At least not in that order
Let's try:"Work (is) sorry, (but) I have to"
Because I do
Well I don't have to, have to
But I do prefer to have my own money
It's easier
And heck, it feels good

So anyway my current job
Isn't THAT much better
Just on Sundays instead
I haven't got my first check yet
What I do is
Clean a community center

I'm trying to be exposed
To all sorts of employment
I try not to be one-sided
Even though my future plans
Don't include working for someone

But whatever
I need the money
So....

So....

So

Today I attended
Alvin Ailey Summer Intensive Auditions
Were they easy? Yes.
Did I make it? No.
So if they were easy, why didn't I make it?
Maybe it was because I couldn't stop laughing


I admit
And I'm not very proud of admitting
That I was laughing at people
But across the floor, they just looked so funny
And knowing me, I cannot control my laughter
Once I start, I can't stop
And sometimes I forget what I was
Laughing at in the first place, and I just continue laughing
Like what happened in auditions
I'm sorry I laughed at people though

I shouldn't have done that
And I was very wrong
As a matter of fact, I feel bad
But I LOVE laughing
And I seek EVERY opportunity
I can to do so
Even if it's at someone else's expense
That's just how much I love laughing
And I can't really help it

When I laugh at people,
I'm not even trying to be mean
I mean, if I find something funny,
It's just funny.
It may not even have anything to do
With the person.
I was just laughing at the way
They were moving.

But now, I'm laughing at myself
Because I'm sitting at home
Typing and doing homework
And callbacks are being held right now

So the last laugh is on me.
Ha.

Happy Sunday!

So it's Sunday, right?

Yep, it sure is...
Sunday morning, to be exact
I think I'll maybe have a more
Detailed post tomorrow
Because right now
There's nothing much to say

And the only thing I did yesterday
Was go to my chiropractor
And to the dance supply store
And to the grocery store
And back home....
See? That's not really much

So I'll check in tomorrow


Peace